Posted by: ourwildride | March 8, 2008

Off of My Cloud

Pardon the mixed metaphor, but Margie over at Third Mom jumped onto my cloud and burst my bubble this morning with her link to this article. I find it so upsetting that things like this happen. I find it so upsetting to see the shadow of my face among the ‘I don’t want to get involved’ crowd. I would like to think that put in the situation described I would stand up and do the right thing. And yet in little ways every day I turn the other way instead of getting involved. I think it is ‘defensive living’.  Sort of like defensive driving. 

Nearly every day I drive on a very narrow and winding road where there is no shoulder. I make it a habit of hugging the edge of the road while rounding the curves. That is because it isn’t uncommon for someone to come flying around a curve over the double yellow and at a speed way over the limit. I value my life and have no wish to purposely test out the air bags in the mothership. Even if the vehicle coming at me is speeding and on my side of the road and therefore, would be at fault in a collision. And so far this tactic has served me well. Knock on wood. 

But this same tactic plays out in other spaces as well. It plays out at work or at church or in my community when I don’t want to be ‘that person’ – whoever ‘that’ is in a given scenario. Like my inability to confront the person in the grocery store who was cursing like a sailor about everything because:
a) my kids are with me and I wouldn’t want to get verbally or physically assaulted in front of them 
b) my kids aren’t with me and I’ve heard it all before and I still don’t want to get verbally or physically assaulted.

It’s fight or flight all the way. And my tendency is to choose flight every time. But if we all choose flight, nobody is left but the bully. And that thought makes me shudder. So here’s to the knowledge that becoming a parent in a transracial family brings with it additional responsibilities and new opportunities talk about really important things.


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