Posted by: ourwildride | January 5, 2008

Dead Cows

Pretty sure most of you can relate to having utterly crazy dreams in times of stress and major life changes. Right now would qualify as one of those times for me. Somewhere along the line I heard/read/was told that since your dreams are only about you, every person/object in a dream represents a part of you. I have generally found that to be helpful. I wake up from kind of crazy dream and think ‘Oh, that’s really about … insert whatever…’

A couple of nights ago I dreamed I was walking alone. I came to a farm and there were a bunch of cows in a pen bawling and carrying on like crazy. I walked over to the pen and looked into it. At one end of the pen were several nasty, dead, bloated cows. The rest of the cows were a little upset. Understandably so. I thought it was a little odd so I walked over to the farm house. The farmer’s wife answered the door and she called the farmer in. I said something to the effect of ‘I just wanted to make sure everything was alright because there are a couple of dead cows in your pen out there’. The farmer proceeded to flat out deny the existence of the dead cows. That’s about when I woke up.

I was a tad bothered by that. What in my life am I totally in denial about? It hit me yesterday afternoon. I am in denial that this adoption could potentially not be finalized as a result of bureaucratic red tape. I could accept losing T if it meant that his birth family had decided to parent him. But I can not accept losing him to the purgatory of governmental policy. I refuse to believe that a government would do that. And yet, both collectively and as individuals, I know people can do some unimaginably horrible things.

This is where things stand with our case right now. The corrected/amended information for his case is being prepared. As far as that goes, we are mostly concerned about how long it will take the civil registry in San Rafael Petzal to do their part. But the storm cloud hovering over it all is the potential for process changes resulting from new legislation currently being enacted. There are all sorts of conflicting rumors and essentially nothing concrete. Since we have no choice, we are waiting to see how it all plays out. And praying for the kids and families caught in the middle. 



  1. Sacrificing children for politics. What kind of world do we live in?

    I so hope this works out for all of you.

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